Walt Disney Lied

First off, this is not a hate post about marriage. Just because I’m getting a divorce (finalized very soon, by the way) does not mean I am anti-marriage or ant-relationship, or anti-men. What this is all about is a theory I’ve been working on for a couple years now: Is marriage, as a political institution, still relevant?

I say: No.

Come back with me a couple million years to the times of the caveman. The caveman had two main duties: to hunt for the clan and to spread his seed among as many women as possible. The theme of that time period was survival. Did the cavewoman get angry when her partner mated with another woman. Most likely, no. Perhaps she was even relieved to see him go. She now had a baby to care for and the last thing she needed was another baby to take care. Besides, in the clan, the women supported each other. The women raised the children together, and let the caveman do his thing. Seems like a set-up I might enjoy. What I’m getting at is, there was no need for exclusive relationships back then. In fact, if they were exclusive, the human race probably wouldn’t be here today. Survival101.

Now fast forward with me a couple million years. It’s the Middle Ages and young girls are being traded like cattle by their fathers to the highest bidder. Women were married off to create alliances with former enemies, to create queens and princesses, or to just get rid of one more mouth to feed. Women were used as pawns for their families to gain a better status. Forget about love. Your husband could have as many mistresses as he wanted while his wife lolled away the hours with her embroidery. Sounds fantastic.

Here we go into the Victorian Age. In this era, women were once again sold off into marriages that were pre arranged by their parents in order to “keep up with the Joness’”. It was less about creating allies and more about money and status and gossip. Again, love is nowhere to be found in the equation. There was no arguing with Daddy on this topic. And the kicker is, once a woman was married and had children, those children did not belong to her by law…they were the property of her husband. So here we have a young woman trapped in a loveless marriage but cannot divorce or else she will never see her children again. Who’s coming with me to sign up for some of this??

Which brings me to Walt and the 20th century. Walt did something for the modern woman that no man had ever done. He made a promise. He promised that if you were a good little girl, your knight in shining armor would rescue from whatever evil had befallen you and whisk you away in to the sunset on his horse. I have a problem with this. And it’s most likely why I hate all things Disney. Even as a young kid, I could smell his stinky con a million miles away.

Why were the women in his fairy tales always  portrayed as helpless or sick until the prince comes along and fixes everything? And that, my friends, is the trap. The trap that every little girl falls into…the illusion that one day she will be rescued by a dashing young man, go to a ball and get married in a big fluffy dress, or give someone a magical kiss and poof!…there’s love of her life standing in front of her! And they always…always…”lived happily ever after”. Illusions and Lies. I got your number Walt.

How many of your friends do you know, or maybe even  yourself,  dreamed of their wedding since they were little girls? I guess this is ok. But maybe we should teach our girls to be a little more realistic. Unfortunately, there is no knight in shining armor, there is no prince….simply because no one is that perfect. No one falls in love after one kiss. Relationships are messy and hard work, like any other job. There is no sunset. There is no horse. There is just me in my CR-V riding off into the horizon.

So what is  up with the concept with marriage? Outdated? I think so. We no longer need to trade our women to our enemies to make allies. We no longer need to trade our women for a higher status. I think the cavemen and women were onto something. Maybe their situation wasn’t completely ideal and wouldn’t make the majority of us happy. But marriage itself was invented for every reason EXCEPT for love. And then Walt came along and lied to millions of little girls.

Can two people love each other forever and commit to each other without going through a “ceremony” to  prove it? Of course.  No to mention, you would be saving tons on your dream day. Yes, DAY. One day will cost you thousands. That doesn’t sound like a fairy tale at all.

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