Recently, I’ve become more aware of a growing epidemic amongst our children: they’ve either never heard the words “excuse me” before, or have not been taught how to use them by their parents. Now, I am NOT a parenting expert. Those people don’t really exist, anyway. But I’m a huge advocate of common courtesy and manners. And there is never an age too early to teach manners to our kids.
I’ve been working with my daughter (6) and son (4) in regard to waiting their turn to speak and how it’s rude to interrupt two adults speaking. As far as I see it, they have it pretty good. If I ever attempted to barge in on a conversation being had between adults, as a child, there was no “polite” explanation about how such behavior is rude and unacceptable. There was only “The Look”….often times accompanied by a “So help me, God… something or other” through grit teeth. Now that I’m an adult, I look back on these memories with fondness. My parents and grandparents were absolutely correct to admonish me this way. For what kind of world would we live in were it not for the glue that holds us together: manners?
So when my little girl runs to me with very “important” information that needs some telling right away and I’m already speaking with someone else, my finger goes up. If she doesn’t get this hint, I remind her she MUST say excuse me. Then, since I’m the PARENT…(we’re in charge, here, folks. let’s remember that.) I will decide if her information is an emergency situation. If it is not, she must wait her turn for my attention. For example: I’m not ending my conversation with someone else if she can’t get a dress on her Barbie doll. I will, however, give her my full attention of she or a friend is bleeding from some part of the body. This will teach her some things: What is an absolute emergency situation, and what can wait…the importance of realizing that the world revolves around no one and that we all…even adults…must wait our turn.
Lately, I noticed, while I am in the middle of conversing with other parents, my child will try to interrupt and as I remind her to say “excuse me” the other parent will ALWAYS say: “Oh, it’s ok, honey. What do you need to say?” This is when I have to control my eyeballs from rolling into the back of my head. Please don’t do this. It’s very nice of you to be sweet to my kid in this way. But I’m teaching her something: The Power of Patience. So, the next time you see me hold up my finger at my kids and you are filled with all kinds of disgust that sound like this in your head :”How can she be so mean to this poor little girl?”, remember who her mother is and how she is devoting her life to raising polite, courteous kids.
man, do i give diana ross a run for her money,with a straightening iron in my hand and "someday we'll be together" playing on the ipod.
